Would you reconsider your vow renewal arrangments if this happened to you?

Posted by on . 15 comments.

We are renewing our vows for our 15th wedding anniversary. I planned to stay at a posh resort, and I have tried several times to ask them if its okay with them for us to use the grounds for a vow renewal. They are making me VERY nervous, because they aren't answering my direct questions sometimes. I feel really weird, because they rent areas on the grounds, they charge HUGE amounts of money, and I have said we're only having like 6 people there and what do they have to offer me... and I get no answers!? I'm trying to plan, but the wedding consultant won't even call me, and I'm not sure why, but I suspect its because my budget is roughly the cost of ONE of their 100 appetizer plates (My budget for 6 people is 0.00 - their appetizers are like 0.00 for 100). I feel weird, poor and unnappreciated. Should I cancel my stay there? The hotel has many amenities, but I could host my own event at a house and drive to a spa/swimming and it would be cheaper. What would you do?
We're staying in the Pocono's in Pennsylvania, preferably the lower poconos, as you can see the mountains there. The rest of the Poconos are sort of a huge plateau and there's no pretty mountains to look at.
Also, when I say host an event at a house, I will have to rent a chalet, which might not be bad, but everything will be farther away and there won't be as many indoor things to do if it rains. Although I have many anniversary indoor plans I can't mention here... hee hee.


Comments

  1. Cindy J says:
    September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    I’m afraid I hotel will never agree to letting you have something for free if there is a chance they could rent the space to a pay ing customer. But If day of, there no chance they will be earning revenue for the space it would not impact their bottom line to let you use that. That being said, this is a special day for you. And nothing will ruin it like stress and uncertanty, so find a place that you can affort to confirm. Mention what city/state you are in and we will help you come up with affordable solutions

  2. Lydia says:
    September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    I would have just planned it for home anyway. $200 would have just been enough money for you and your husband for a fancy dinner with wine!
    So if you have it at home, that can go a long way towards making a lovely meal for your guests, and throwing a bit of an anniversary party.
    It just sounds like you were in way over your head…

  3. Erica says:
    September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    Don’t stay somewhere that doesn’t appreciate your business. Maybe you could stay there with your husband, but do the actually renewal at your home? It’s what I’d do. I’d also complain to the head person in charge about the way you’ve been treated. There is no excuse for that.

  4. Julie M says:
    September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    If someone is not answering your questions than fire them and don’t use their services. YOU are the customer so you deserve answers when you want them. $200 is not that big of a budget but i would say have it at home and drive to spa etc while the men go somewhere else like golfing or whatever…its best to stick to your budget and not use services of wedding consultants when you can’t afford it…

  5. mdsalas says:
    September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    I would talk to a manager and tell him/her your concerns. Tell him/her you need answers today or you will cancel your reservations.

  6. Patrick R says:
    September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    They want you to stay in their hotel, so they’ll probably string you along until you can’t cancel your reservation without incurring a fee. They charge a rental fee for the use of their grounds; they’ve already answered you. They aren’t going to give you something free, they charge other guests. Cancel your reservation now if holding your ceremony there is vital.

  7. Lindz says:
    September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    i would get out of there! they’re not going to help and will probably charge you an arm and a leg in the end… maybe another resort that’s more reasonable? or do the ceremony near by and then stay there? you could host it yourself but don’t wear yourself out – get friends and family to help so it’s not all you

  8. always thinkin says:
    September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    if you cant afford what the place costs, i would look into something else. they are not going to treat you well once you get there if they think you are "poorer" then their standards.

  9. chick says:
    September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    i defo think you would be better off at home. you dont want to count on the hotel when they are not answering you and being direct. It seems as if they hiding something! You will have a better night at home anyways. Good luck what ever you decide!

  10. fizzy stuff says:
    September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    It just sounds like what they do is not in your budget. They do something very specific: high end, large weddings. You want a small wedding, and thats not what they do.
    If you are not getting a straight answer, that is a bad sign. I would let go of this idea. There is more than one great restaurant. And you can treat yourself to spa whenever its convenient for you.

  11. Barbara B says:
    September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    I would cancel with the Spa/Resort. Any vendor who doesn’t offer information promptly is not going to get my business.

    BTW – how about a lovely Bed & Breakfast or country Inn someplace nice as your site for vow renewal?

    Just as an example, there is a fabulous Inn in Scottsville, VA – not far from Charlottesville – called High Meadows – and the folks there are great to work with. AND their food is super-yummy!

    http://www.highmeadows.com/

    Or the Good Evening Ranch in West Virginia – another great place to stay – and their staff and catering is great too!

    http://www.goodeveningranch.com/

    Check with your state’s department of tourism for links to great out-of-the-way places like these 2 spots for your ceremony.

  12. melouofs says:
    September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    You should not be staying there. They do not value your business. It would be a real shame for you to find out on what should be a very special day that they will not cooperate with you. Go somewhere else that will appreciate your business.

  13. Sandy Ego says:
    September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    I would not have my event at a place that won’t answer my questions. I’d definitely make other arrangements.

  14. Jo G says:
    September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    sack the hotel, sack the wedding planner!
    arrange something with family and friends. as each preson to contribute something towards your day. think of a nice space for example a local park lake etc where the registrar or the vows can be made and some nice pics can be taken, then go back to your house with friends and family for drinks/ cocktails and food.
    save your money and take a break with your hubby or buy something with the money you have saved, something you can share.
    prehaps call in an outside caterer?
    or have a theme and ask each person to contribute?
    hope you get this sorted and good luck x

  15. Catherine E: VT says:
    September 27, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    It sounds like they’re totally taking you for a ride. I’d plan it someplace else. It would be one thing if what they had to offer was over-the-moon better than anything you’d get anywhere else, but I really doubt that they could do THAT much better than something you could do at your house for that amount of people.

    You’re already getting shoddy service from them. Try someplace else.

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