I see a few things that need to be addressed, the first one is his threats to "kill himself" any person making these threats (children included), needs to be taken seriously, especially if there has been weight loss or increase, increase in anger out bursts, not wanting interact with others etc. His parents, if they have any concerns, need to speak the boys doctor and tell him/her of the boys threats, behaviours etc.

Do the parents have a amicable relationship?
If they don’t, he may well be acting out his anger and frustration. When they separated did they have family counseling? Just because he was little does not mean it did not affect him.

The second is his parents and step mother, need to work together to ensure he has set guidelines for behaviour, for both homes and he knows what the consequences for not doing homework, chores or back chatting etc are. They also need to ensure he has set routine, rules on when he can use video games, computer access and so forth, these must be used as a reward for completing homework & chores.

Sadly many children become confused when living with one parent, then go to stay with the other parent, even for a short period such as the weekend, and the house rules or routine are lax or non existent and this will often make children act out, because they are confused. Is his behaviour worse after the weekend or does it increase just before the weekend, if it does you need to ask him calmly why he is acting out, does he want to go?

Telling him he is a spoiled brat may not be the ideal way to deal with his behaviour. He needs to be told firmly that he is going to do ……….. (homework/chores) and he has no choice, unless he wants his phone, computer, video privileges taken off him, or he is sent to his room, with not access to t.v etc, (sadly many parents will make a threat, but never follow through with it).

Preteen and teen years are a fairly rough time as you will recall, boys will have an significant increase in testosterone, which can make them surly, angry and more aggressive etc. So his behaviour could be related to puberty or something else maybe going on, none the less you need to be really firm but fair, and most certainly consistent in how you manage him.

Reading all the things he apparantly has it would appear that it really is true when people say money cannot buy love.

Materialistic items while they can be enjoyable do not replace one on one interaction between two human beings.

My sister has gone through a similar behavioural issue with her 5 year old, and you’ll be amazed how much his behaviour changed when her and her husband simply stopped using material items to substitute for actual talking and interaction with the child.

Its amazing what paying attention to a child can actually achieve.

Regards,

TgTips

his parents need to stop spoiling him and they need to teach him how to act his age.

Saying anything about suicide should be taken seriously. Even if he doesn’t intend to do it, there’s almost definitely some sort of problem.

As for the things you’ve mentioned about what he has, just because they’re things YOU want doesn’t mean they’re things HE wants. Being 10 isn’t exactly a good thing. Loving families can express that love in unwanted ways. For example, some people don’t like hugging. Some people dislike presents or other material items being used as displays of affection.

A nice home is really open to opinion… I doubt he had any say in the matter when he started living there… or any time since. He may be upset at the type of flooring (carpet, etc.) or the amount of noise (from inside or outside the house, or both of course). Or anything else. Some people can be bothered quite significantly by these sorts of things.

Being smart means nothing, everyone is smart in some way or another. Only difference is how many people recognize that particular type of intelligence. And being smart in the commonly acknowledged way can actually be a bad thing. Less challenges, less encouragement, more focus on failures than successes. People with recognized disabilities are almost at an advantage in this way. Not always, of course, but it does happen.

And I really hope he doesn’t spend his entire day looking in a mirror. Looking good shouldn’t be related to happiness. People who look bad shouldn’t be expected to feel bad. They’re still people with as much right as anyone to feel happy… and they’re pretty capable of it too.

Toys, video games, cell phones are great if you like them. Not a huge fan of pointing out the obvious, but not everyone does. Toys and video games include a wide variety of things, and he might not like the specific items. You can’t tell someone to enjoy something simply because they have it. It needs to matter to them. Doubt you’d like a used toothbrush. And some people just don’t like cell phones.

Friends are also an individual thing. Is it possible his main reason for having friends is simply encouragement from parents, teachers, and other respected adults? Or maybe he feels he’s being expected to spend too much time with them? Some people who want friends still prefer being alone most of the time, just doing things with friends occasionally, when there’s a specific thing they both want to do. Not doing things just because they’re friends.

Do the new shoes fit? Not everyone fits in shoes very well, and being the right size doesn’t always mean it’ll be comfortable. Similar things go for clothes. Does he like the type of clothes (turtleneck, T-shirt, shorts, pants, etc.)? Does he like the material (velvet, cotton, etc.)? Having clothes isn’t a good thing on it’s own. Them being new may not be exceptionally important either.

And while I doubt anyone would get a hamster for someone who doesn’t want one, is it possible that he’s changed his mind about having one? Maybe he doesn’t feel ready to care for a pet? Or just hamsters.

And he may not like skateboards and bicycles. Or maybe he does, but feels too pressured to use them. Maybe going to a skate park every night is too often for him.

And you really have no right to say he doesn’t have a disability. People have disabilities before they’re diagnosed. People with cancer have it before they go to a doctor for a diagnosis. He may not have any health-related problems, but you have no right to assume. Some problems can go unnoticed.

EDIT: One thing I’d like to add, it’s important that not everything in his life is rewards/punishments. Having some things being reliably accessible (NEVER taken) is important. It’s also important that the things being taken away as punishment for bad behaviours aren’t things he depends on for reassurance. For a younger child, this may be a stuffed toy… or any other item. May be several items that have this effect. Whatever those things are, it’s important he has ways to calm himself. If punishments are taking those things away, it can be extremely counterproductive.