My dad has anger issues, so that means he can't control what he says, and his actions. When I was a kid, my dad didn't really care. He just spent money on me whenever I wanted something. But when I turned 8, we moved to a city and he opened a sucessful family business, with a few of his friends working for him. Since then, I always went out there to help as a receptionist, and help around with the customers. Oh, by the way, he and my mother owned a spa. But when I was 11, the chemicals there made me get rashes and I was allergic to it. And when I worked there, I made fifty dollars a day from helping, and playing with the little kids. But I always spent it on trash(which I regret deeply now.). So since then, I only went out there every now and then, and poof, my rash disappeared. Ever since then, the harsh words started coming, "You don't help out anymore, why should I give you money." or "Why should I buy you stuff if you don't help around the spa anymore, you just go out with your friends and ask for money.". And so I thought, "I don't see many 14 year olds WORKING just so their parents can give them money. Why am I only like this?". And if I tell him that, he yells at me. Then he would insult me about my looks(He thinks I have a pretty face, but he doesn't like my style.). When I was 11, my parents divorced, and my mother left to California. So he was nice then, until 6 months later she came back because she missed me. My dad got remarried after that, and had my little brother when I was 12. Then recently, my little cousin came in to live with us because his mom died in a car accident. And he's 11, and now he goes out there to help around with the spa... Except he didn't get as much money as I did. Now my dad is comparing ME to my 11 YEAR OLD COUSIN. And he stands up for my cousin no matter what. For example, 3 nights ago during dinner, I told my dad that my cousin used my camera without my permission and took scary pictures of himself, and drew all over my drawings that I was going to scan online and edit them. Now I can't do that anymore. My dad said, "Well, he's a kid he doesn't know anything." and in my head, I was thinking, "What the hell? He's freaking 11 years old. He's not a kid anymore, he should know better." but I didn't say it outloud. Then last night, we were eating dinner, and I just washed my face after I showered and I clipped my bangs back, and I only had about 3 or 5 pimples(Yeah, gross.). My dad noticed, and said, "Your skin is so ugly. That's what happens when you sleep late." and I said, "Dad... I have pimples because I'm 14. It's a stage." and he said, "NO. IF YOU SLEEP EARLIER, YOUR SKIN IS PRETTIER." and I don't know if that was true or not, and I was on my monthly too, which might also be the cause of it, but I didn't want to blurt it out during dinner. Then he says a whole bunch of crap about me, and said how deeply he regrets having me, and that hurt me, so I ran to the bathroom and cried. That's the reason why I rarely eat dinner, and just starve. Yes, my dad has hit me before, sometimes including: choking, holding me by my hair, slapping me, punching me, etc... Now he told my mom that since I don't do anything, he's never doing anything that has money involved in it for me anymore. I don't feel like he loves me anymore, and I just can't wait to be 18 and move out. But he also said this one day when I brought up college, and saying I wanted to go to an art college in either Chicago or Cleveland, and he got all sad and said, "No. You're staying here." and I told him this is for my future, my job, my life, and what's going to keep me living. And he still didn't want me to, just so he I won't be far away from him. He's a selfish A-hole, and only cares about himself. I wish I could die for a day, and let him know how it feels like, then come back. But now I just need help. My mom is the only one that seems to care about me, but my dad just constantly bashes her for no reason whatsoever. Help? Please?