How to get 3 year old in pool.?

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He is 3 years 4 months old, We want him to swim but he will not leave the pool stairs. He always wears his water wings but we STILL can't convince him that there is nothing to be afraid of.



He doesn't understand that with the water wings on, he isn't going to go under water. He even wears his wings with a floating "O" tube. But he won't leave the stairs. I try so hard to get him in the water but he won't. I don't want to grab him and throw him in because I am afraid it might do something to him mentally.

Any time I come near him, he runs away, he thinks I will throw him in. But I tell him I wouldn't do something like that, I never lie to him. One minute he says he wants to go down the pool slide, He gets to the top and then climbs back down the ladder. He would rather want to watch me go down the slide. When I ask him "Why don't you want to go in the water?" He responds "Its scary" He doesn't understand that when he goes in the water, the water wings will keep him on the surface.

I have taken him to many pools, big , small, He doesn't even get in the Spa that is only 5 foot deep total.

It is really irritating me. He asks to go swimming. We put our swim suits on and all he does is sit on the steps and mess with the water. We have a inflatable dolphin that goes in the water. He plays with it in the grass. I want him in the water, so he can understand how much fun it is.

I don't want to hear any crap about how Water wings don't work. I used water wings when I was his age and I am a excellent swimmer.
In order for me to teach him how to swim, I must first have him in the water, I honestly don't think it is time for him to know how to swim yet. Just enjoy the pool.

If I pay for him to acquire swim lessons. Will the instructors make him lose his fear of the water? I don't know what to do. He isn't afraid of water, Every night he wants to take a bath and he is always in the tub for at least a hour. I even have pool toys for him. Still not convincing. I even tell him if he goes down the slide I will catch him. Also told him he can ride on my shoulders in the water, I told him he can also ride on my shoulders while I STAND UP in the water.

I am really Tall, he enjoys getting on my shoulders when we aren't swimming. But he won't ride on my shoulders when I stand in the shallow end of the pool. I have searched my issue on Google and I find nothing that answers my question. It seems as if no one else has had this problem.

I need some logical advice from swim instructors or therapists or any parents.
I don't want to be criticized about water wings, they worked for me so they should work for him.

I must FIRST get him in the pool to teach him how to swim. Once he is in the pool, I want to let him get used to the pool. Then I will teach him.

Comments

  1. tjs282 says:
    March 16, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    We’re lucky in that our local pool complex has multiple different pools, including a kiddies’ play pool that’s barely two feet deep, and a sort of ‘fountain’ area which goes from zero to about 8 inches deep, where new sitters/crawlers can play. It also has kiddie-slides about 15 feet long, landing in shallow water.

    I know where you’re coming from though–I used to work poolside as a lifeguard/occasional instructor, and I saw too many nervous kids whose first swimming experience was left until they were 5 or 6, which is far too late, IMHO. We started taking our son to the pool when he was 3 months old, and supported him all the time he was in the water. Once he started getting mobile, we let him choose his own comfort depth–as he got older and more confident, he went into the deeper sections by himself.

    We got him water wings once he started walking, so that he could have a little more independence from us. It took him a while to get used to them, and to learn to trust them, and he still wouldn’t go out of his standing depth, or lift his feet off the bottom at first. But after he tripped over a few times, he got to realise that the wings would hold him up, and now he’ll voluntarily lift his feet off the bottom, and float on his back. Although not for very long (it’s too boring!).

    Now he’s quite happy splashing about, going down the kiddie-slides by himself (headfirst, feet first, bottom first, forwards, backwards–doesn’t matter) and jumping in (to the shallow pool). Now he’s learned to trust his wings, he’ll even go down the steps into a deep (4-5 feet) section of the main pool, and float around with mummy and daddy there. He’s still not started swimming as such, but if he’s out of his depth, he can bicycle-kick his legs, and move himself around. Once he figures out that he can paddle with his hands as well, I expect he’ll do that too. Then it’s just a question of refining his technique…

    The weird thing is, though, the last time we took him swimming at another pool (actually where I used to work), he was a lot more cautious there than he had been at his ‘local’. The other place only has a main pool, and a baby pool, which are both a couple of degrees cooler, and deeper than he’s used to. He spent almost his entire time on the baby pool steps–still in the water, but not out of standing depth. Occasionally we could coax him a little deeper, but he always went back to the steps before long.

    So I guess the lesson is, be patient and let your son choose his own pace. I appreciate that it might be frustrating at the moment, but given that he already likes the water, I’m confident that he’ll go deeper with time. As you say, the worst thing would be to force him. Also, if he sees you swimming (and putting your face in the water), he’ll realise it’s not such a terrible thing. Have you tried bubble-blowing with him?

    I wish you all the best.

  2. Scott K says:
    March 16, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    Get into the water and casually ignore him. Eventually, he will want to join you in the water.

  3. Laura E says:
    March 16, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    You can try a swim instructor. Seeing other kids his age may help. Don’t push him too hard, he may just not be ready. If you push him too much, he may never want to go in the water. What ever you do take it slowly. He may just need more time.

  4. mr.jams says:
    March 16, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    It sounds like to me that he is pretty determined that he isn’t going to do it right now.It reminds me of when I tried to potty train my daughter.We tried & tried with no success. So we left the potty chair out,and backed off. It wasn’t too long,and one day we walked in the bathroom,and she was trying to pull her diaper off.We helped out,and she’s been using it ever since.If I were you I would just get in the pool,and act lihe you are having a great time,and maybe in time he will want to give it a go.maybe you could wear a pair of water wings,or somethig similar,,and show him how they work. I wish you the best of luck. Mrs,Jams

  5. M P says:
    March 16, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    If he wants to go to the pool and sit on the stairs so what? You should get in the water and swim around, eventually he will want to join you.
    You should also try preschool swim lessons, being in the water with other kids may help with his fears. Don’t expect results after only one lesson, these things take time.
    As for water wings… if you want him to learn to swim properly throw them out (unless of course you want him to swim vertically)
    You may also want to try taking him to the store and letting him pick out new goggles, kick-board, noodle, or some other special things that he can only use at the pool (not at home in the tub).

    I am a red cross certified water safety instructor, lifeguard, and swim coach.

  6. strichard22 says:
    March 16, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    do what jack donaghy’s dad did- get him to the edge with a puppy and push him in.

    in all seriousness, why don’t you go in with him? like carry him in with you? and i would teach him to swim as soon as possible. or else you’ll be taking a teenager to go to swimming lessons so his friends don’t laugh at him when he can’t swim in high school pe.

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