Asked my wife to work on her looks and I think she is bitter about something.?

Posted by on . 19 comments.


I ask nicely to my wife to work out, go to the gym, get a perm or wear some makeup because she's just sloppy all the time (100%) of the time in our 8 year marriage. I just can't take it anymore. Here's the excuses.



1) Gym. Hardly goes, because she wants to work 1 hour at the kids' school to feel good about herself. The kids' are embarrassed she's there at recess.

2) Spa. Won't go because it's too expensive and claims the chemicals from a facial can crack her skin. Will go to her cousin's spa which is 50 miles, 1 hour drive away.

3) Salon. Won't go because a perm will make her lose all her hair. Full of chemicals there.

4) Nice clothes. Won't buy them because she claims the "economy is bad" for the last 12 years. Still wears high/school/College clothes (she's 39) and sweats. Also alot of old style clothes and white t-shirts.

5) Date night. Won't go because the economy is bad for the last 15 years. Complains about money.

6) Makeup. Complains the "chemicals" are bad for her. So far that ain't true and wears some on weekends. So she did this one for 2 days out of a week.

7) Complains about money and mentions that my parents don't help her with the kids as the reason about money.

8) Complains that we didn't buy a million dollars home by her parents' place.

I think she's bitter about 7 & 8 and is just sloppy because of that. What do you think?

Comments

  1. Annabella says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    Unfortunately you can’t force a person to have pride in themselves. Her excuses are exactly that . . . excuses. She doesn’t want to make an effort. Not for you & not for herself. If she wants a better lifestyle then she needs to contribute to making that happen. I can’t stand f*cking whiners & complainers. It pisses me off. As far as her skin goes, she’s acting like a walking time bomb. If anything touches her she’s going to crack & explode. I have extremely sensitive skin but I use products that work for me. Just face it. She doesn’t give a flying sh!t what you think about her.

  2. Faisal Aryan says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    Dude no one has as much time to listen your BAKWAS…
    its a word in URDU but dont know i think so its called Gabble…
    h ah ah a haha h ..
    cheers..

  3. Michael E says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    she has no pride…. im sorry but she wont change…. you cant put lipstick on a pig as obama said :]

  4. spacecity_auctions says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    Dude it sounds like she is one of those angry Rosie Odonnel types. Sounds like you might need to thing about becoming single and see what else is out there.

  5. marie says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    She should leave you and find a descent man.

  6. Gracie says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    first of all not spending money just helps to make the economy suck. with that said you should put her on what not to wear on tlc. not kidding she sounds like she needs it. maybe you should let yourself go (just around her. you can look nice like at work or something) and see what she says. i’m sure its just stressful for her with the kids and everything so she’s not focused on herself. try telling her that she seems to be stressed and unhappy and that maybe new clothes and a makeover would give her more confidence and make her feel better about herself. yeah that’s several different pieces of advice so do with it what you will :)

  7. steptoe says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    There is no such thing as a nice way to ask a women to work on her looks, you will be real lucky to squirm out of this in one piece. Women are also like elephants, they never forget. Reminds me of an old proverb stating "Marrying a women is like pulling the cord on an inflatable raft"

  8. jessica, says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    She doesn’t sound like she has much confidence in herself.
    You shouldn’t be so insistent, just slightly hint some of these things.
    If you’re piling all of this stuff on her, of course she isn’t going to want to do it. Her lack of confidence will make her feel unmotivated.
    If you’re asking her to change so much about herself, I really don’t think she’s going to take that in a nice way. You should be loving her for who she is, not what she looks like. That’s why you married her, right?

  9. jazzrhythm says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    So, now you have a slight idea why she prefer to remain sloppy. It’s her way to get what she wants…but a sloppy way as well.

  10. Meggie says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    Oh that sad,en can u bring along a sexy classy lady in your house en say ohh its a coworker,en she should have make up en good dresser en then u tell ,u knwo that how a woman should wear,./
    She will change for the jelousy

  11. ceegt says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    Your wife doesn’t have to get a perm to make her hair look better. All she needs is a great haircut. Actually, perms are really harsh on your hair and can end up leaving your hair brittle and frizzy. A good haircut can make a radical change. As for her not wanting to go to the spa or the gym, maybe you talk her into going for walk or a bike ride with you and your kids. It can be a family event and everyone benefits on two counts: you all get some exercise, and best of all, you are spending time together as a family. As for her not liking to wear make-up, tell her she can buy some mineral make-up which is good for her skin. And last, if you can’t get her to buy new clothes, why not give her a gift card to her favorite clothing store.

  12. Somebodys Honey says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    You need to be able to express things like this to your wife. Women are way too sensitive when it comes to comments like this. She sounds as if she may be depressed. Or maybe she has no self worth. Try doing activites together and see how that plays out.. It is not healthy for her to not have any pride in the way that she looks.. If you can’t get her to budge try talking her into going to the doctor. But good luck with the entire situation.

  13. soozemusic says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    Part of her is probably doing it because you want her to change. This makes her resentful toward you and in her mind, a good way to keep you unhappy.
    But, misery loves company. I think you two should go to therapy. Show her you want this for her, for you, for the kids and that you want her period. Try a little kindess. Bring her home some clothes that you picked out just for her.

  14. Morsel says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    Speaking as a married woman that let’s her self go from time to time (I will not let my figure go!) It can be hard to keep yourself all glammed up sometimes particularly if your husband doesn’t have a hard time spending any money. You are always worried about the financial repercussions because you can’t keep up with your spouse’s spending. Try putting her at ease by buying her gift cards, were the money is already spent and she HAS to go. She could probably use a few words of encouragement as well instead of criticism. Maybe if you told her she is beautiful with out make up (grin and bear it) you would still like to see her dressed up from time to time. Once she see’s how good she can look, she might be more inclined to keep it up.

  15. ckees90 says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    1) Kids are always embarrassed when their parents show up at school. This doesn’t mean that she still doesn’t love them or Vice Versa…Also, Gym Memberships can be expensive, and it can be hard to commit to one, especially someone who has kids.

    2) Again, in this time of economic down-turn it is smart for people to conserve money by not spending on stuff, especially things as trivial as a Spa. She goes to her cousin’s because you insist that she goes, and probably because she likes the familiarity.

    3) It’s her hair, she can do what she wants with it. Why don’t you try to help her pick a style that you both like that doesn’t require extensive treatments. Even a little trim here and there can make a world of difference.

    4) She has a point about the economy. And so what if her clothes aren’t as trendy as some people would like? Everyone has their own style, and personally I respect her for not giving into what the rest of the world wants her to do. You should too…

    5) If she won’t go on a date (for whatever reason), why not bring the date to her. Rent her favorite movie, cook her favorite dinner, send the kid’s to a sitter/friends for the night, (you see where I’m going with this).

    6) Her skin, her choice. Sorry, man…

    7) Well, money is tight, but your parents aren’t to blame for that (unless theres something you’re not telling us). So she is out of line here.

    8) That seems weird she would complain about that considering she’s so concerned about money in every other aspect of her life.

    A couple things I just want to point out:

    1) When you marry someone, you need to be able to put shallow feelings aside. If you can’t love someone for who they are, you don’t love them…
    2) You complain about her appearance, but what do you do to make yourself look good for her?
    3) You say you’ve been married 8 years, but she has been refusing to go on dates for 15 years. I find it kind of hard to believe that you were with her for 7 years before getting married when you didn’t go out together. Of course, whether you’re exaggerating or it’s an inconsistency because this Question is BS is still up for debate.
    4) Have you considered the fact that maybe she doesn’t like going out because you constantly harass her for how she looks? A husband should be supportive of his wife, regardless of what she looks like. If she can’t get that support from you, how can she expect to get it from the world?

    She’s not bitter because of #7 or #8. She’s bitter because you are being insensitive to her feelings. While in your mind you are being polite, she is still going to take your comments about her appearance negatively, and over time these negative feelings are going to bottle up, hence the bitterness…My solution to you is to just lay off and love your wife for who she is…

  16. WTG23XL86 says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    You got to find out what exactly the problem is coz man those complaints are way to many for anyone.I think you got to sit down and talk to her or use any of her best friends.Something aint right about her.

  17. I love my Sgt cuddles says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    You need to sit her down and tell her how you feel, and that you would appreciate if she at least tried doing some of the things you mentioned. It seems like she doesn’t even care about what you think of her. Yeah it is her body, but your the one that has to look at her all day. Looking better would also make her feel happier. Every girl should take some time to make themselves look more presentable.

  18. Harvey says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    She’s a slob and maybe a lesbian.

  19. Dixxie says:
    September 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    Dang. All that is enough to depress anybody.
    She needs to snap out of it. I dont know what you could do. How depressing for you. Get in her face and tell her snappppp!!! Maybe she will listen.

    Sorry but I have to laugh at Michael E, cant put lipstick on a pig…. Too funny. I just knew Obama was the One!

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